Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Randomize
