Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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