dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
