i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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