I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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