he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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