i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
