if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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