i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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