I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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