it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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