AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
