Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
