Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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