He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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