I can tuck mytits in my pants
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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