Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
