My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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