Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
