She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
