I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
