I'm going to jail i love you
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize