I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
