Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize