I CAN MOONWALK!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
