He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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