I got chris browned last night
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
