some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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