Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
