The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
