Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
