i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
