Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize