i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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