The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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