if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
