It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
