I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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