I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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