I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And then he peed in my hair
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