So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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