you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
