So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
