Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
