He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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