either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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