i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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