Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
