i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Sorry my hands just texted you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
