White coat. Heels.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
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