carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
