Dual....:-)
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
