He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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