just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
