So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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