Need sex. Gaining weight.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
