i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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