sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
