Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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