Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
