Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
